|
|
Ive been doing it for as long as I can remember. My earliest memories are of the thrill in discovering how to do it. Of course, like all kids, I was completely amoral. I didnt realize there was anything scandalous about it. As I got a little older, however, I began to realize not everyone did it. Most people regarded it with some suspicion, while a few treated it with blatant outrage. My own family refrained from mentioning my vice in public. They treated it with the embarassed silence usually reserved for indecent exposure. I had the revelation that there was something radical in the act. It disturbed people on a primitive level that always recognizes the threat of individuality. I went underground. By the time I hit adolescence, I flaunted it. Other kids listened to metal or smoked pot, but my vice was, by far, the one most inclined to piss off adults. And I didnt even have to run the risk of catching a disease! I began hanging out with others like myself. We collected in out of the way, obscure places, dingy cramped rooms and public libraries. We exchanged conspiratorial smiles like a secret sign when we silently brushed past each other. We grinned wickedly when we caught someone else doing it. We peered over one anothers shoulders, comparing its infinite variety. I became more experienced, more jaded, the simple stuff no longer conveyed the same kick. I began getting into the harder stuff. I was an addict, but I was never going to find a support group for my particular peculiar vice. there were groups for those addicted to alchohol, drugs, sex, gambling, but you wil never find a listing for this vice in the yellow pages. Its a rather antiquated vice nowadays, gone the way of absinthe and opium, red meat and Havana cigaars. Oh, people lend the pretense of still indulging in it. They gather in large brightly-lit places to drink cappucino and discuss it. Not that they spend much time actually doing it. We live in an age of dilentantes. But I remain hopeful. One day there will be a resurgence of the radical act of reading. |
|