parenting "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams."--Kahlil Gibran
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Parenting is something I never thought I'd do. I'm a loner at heart, but a loner who cares about people. First let me tell you how I became a parent, and how becoming a mother saved my life....
I was suicidal in April of 1993. I had been having severe panic attacks for months, that seemed to come from nowhere. They would go on for hours at a time, and I sincerely thought I was going mad. The doctors couldn't give me any explanation--just drugs, which I refused. I wanted to be well, not medicated. Finally, in despair, and on the verge of taking my life, I talked to God. I don't think I've ever prayed so whole-heartedly before in my life, until then. I told God that I couldn't go on living that way, and asked Him to please give me a reason to live. Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. That tiny life growing inside of me gave me the reason I needed to get through. I focused more on nutrition and natural medicine, and the panic attacks became less severe. (For the rest of the panic story, see my life page.) There I was, expecting a baby, and wondering what kind of mother I would be. I knew absolutely nothing about the Art of Mothering, but knew I wanted to be a good one. The only place to look was in my heart for the answers. When the day finally came and my beautiful daughter was born, I knew exactly what to do...thank goodness for those "mothering hormones!" ;) We're not the typical family, and some of our friends disagree with our style of parenting. We all just have to do what we feel in our hearts is right for our children. I respect others' choices, and understand that "attachment parenting" is not for everyone. Attachment Parenting involves "baby wearing," such as in a front-carrier, the "family bed," and extended breastfeeding. It is meeting baby's needs and not allowing "crying it out." For a long time, even my husband resisted the "family bed" since he's a light sleeper (the feet in the ribs bothered him :) but he has recently come around. We just bought a new king-size bed to accomodate the four of us. This arrangement works out best for us since Zane (10 mos) still nurses once or twice at night. Allie loves to snuggle and also feels safe after waking from a nightmare. |
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Alternative Meds Refined Sugar Blue Green Algae Health L.....Improve L.....Women's | L...Pregnancy | LEndometriosis L.....Children's L.....Men's Parenting Home |
The first question most people ask when they find out we all share a bed, is "How do you have sex?" Well, all I'll say is that a bed is not the only place to have sex ;) Another question I get is "How long are you going to nurse that child?" My reply is simply, "For as long as the baby wants to!" Allie nursed for only 23 months and Zane is still nursing at 10 months. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for 2 full years for the child to receive the full benefits of breastfeeding. The worldwide average length of breastfeeding is 4 years. I'm sorry that so many people, Americans in particular, have a hang-up about breastfeeding. It truly breaks my heart. God gave us breasts for a reason.... :)
We do not spank or punish our children. We believe hitting not only hurts physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Do you really want to hurt your children? No, of course not...you want to discipline them, to mold their behavior. Please visit the Empowering People page to learn lots about Positive Discipline...it really works! I'll only include a couple of tips here--please don't forget to visit the Empowering People Page...it could change your life (and your child's).
2. If you say it, follow through. 3. Give lots of Praise for desirable behavior. 4. Never shame your child. |
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