you name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.

you turn off your modem and get this awful feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

you start using smileys in your snail mail.

your hard drive crashes. you haven't logged on in two hours. you start to twitch. you pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. you try to hum to communicate with the modem...and you succeed.

all of your friends have an @ in their names.

your cat has its own home page.

you can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

you don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

you start tilting your head sideways to smile.